positivist (positivist) wrote,

Random introverting

I've always said to myself that I would stay in this little hick-town of mine and try to combat the "Brain Drain". I loved it here, so many memories and nature is so vibrant here. But alas, when your inner soul changes, that's the signal to leave. I am not a child anymore, so there is nothing to look forward to here. It's time to hitch a ride on the "feather in the wind" again.

Yes, that was a reference to Forrest Gump, which by the way, is my absolute favorite movie of all time.

Most people look at Forrest and see "stupid". I look at Forrest and see my dual. To run full-force into life without knowing what is at the end or where you are going or what is good or bad or right or wrong is to me the most admirable and beautiful thing I think exists. I love ignorance. Or better yet, I love innocence.

If Forrest is ESFp, Jenny has to be INTp. I think she saw exactly what I saw in Forrest.

I have no anchor in life. In other words, I lack a stable identity by definition of being INTp, but I have nothing to fall back on, no one to really look up to or imitate. So I grab ahold of every new character I come across and try to model myself after them. I take "imitation is the most sincere form of flattery" completely out of hand. And I think people notice that.

My INTp cousin is lucky. He has ME.

I could really, really use my dual right about now.

Have you ever gone to a friend's house and took a peek at his/her AIM buddy list? One kid I knew had at least 300 friends on his. And I think that was his new one because the old one he had reached its limit. My ex-girlfriend had around 100 phone numbers in her cell-phone address book. That one was also a new one, because her other cell reached its limit too.

Too many people take relationships for granted.

You have probably had sex with more people than I have had true friends in my entire life.

I try as hard as I can to make people feel like they are really worth something. Perhaps that is because I do not want to lose them. Or maybe it is because of that old saying of Jesus', "do unto others as you would want done unto you." I take that saying to heart.

But something tells me that I am not what I think I am. I am too egocentric. I think one way and live another.

I am not analytical in the least bit. Logic and theorizing are simply a game to me. I live unsystematically and uncaringly. Nothing I think about is ever applied to my life.

...ok, you are right. That was a gross over-generalization.

I want to rip the seams of thought apart and show people a world that would kill many simply by the sight of it.

I want to be Huey Freeman.

I really hate saying this, but ultimately I must admit to my unconscious sentiment: I think everyone I have ever known is stupid.

But there are some people out there who make me realize how stupid I really am.

Those people are Jacob (pedro-the-lion) and Maria (implied).

The internet saved my life. Well, the Socionics forum anyway.

I've always wanted a woman who is highly intelligent but has no idea of what she is talking about at any given time. Women who know what they are saying don't need me.

I wish someone would care about what I have written.

Ok, I'm done introverting for tonight.
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